You say Shit I say Shite

My surname is Davies. Davies with an ‘E’


(Please try and remember this.)

Yonks and yonks ago,  through uni I subscribed to a US based medical trial thingie, for information aimed at people with disabilities, which gave you latest cutting- edged-scientific-updates in digital format.

It had the tantalising promise of genetic sequencing information, in depth neuroscientific evaluations of current treatments and their effect on motor function at my fingertips, as well as 3d mapping of MRI scans and the opportunity to speak with real people who study the field of neuroscience, microbiology (right up my strasse) and microbiology (perfection.) to have contact with experts in MS through their scientific network was a joyus moment and this my friends, was the future of understanding, collaboration, one-to-one-ness with our fellow MS'ers AND experts of the highest standing in cellular biology at the immunological level! Experts in technology, contactable professionals?
Wow!
Amazing, I thought, I might actually finally get to say fabulous words like 'endoplasmic reticulum' and 'histocompatibility complex' without being stared at blankly.
(Yeah that's right baby I studied microbiology, I know stuff.)

So I'd be signed up for clinical trials, and be free of MS asap (Hooray)

I think back to the first phone call I received asking me if I was happy to be placed on their now shortened waiting list as an MS RRMS 'guinea pig' - "holy crapola!" I thought...No kids, unmarried, skint, dangerously opportunistic, "what's not to love?" A perfect golden opportunity for the right person. Ch-Ching!

The end of phone call for my medical sign up went something like this
" Just need to check the form now- So that's MISS Marjolie Davey?"
"Yes and No," I say, "That's Ms Davies, Davies with an 'E' "
"With an 'E'?"
"Yes With an 'E', and Ms not Miss."
"Ms? Like the letters MS."
"Yes"
"So that's Ms with an 'E' ?"
"YES. Davies- with an 'E'"
"Ok, no problem, congratulations you're now on our list, we have your name, address, phone number and email. We'll let you know when to clinical trial begins with two weeks notice to book flights and that sort of thing. Get back in touch with our experts if you have any problems."
"Ok, great thanks so much."
"You're welcome!" (and possibly) “Have a nice day!” (doubtful, been watching too many films..)

2 weeks later no phone call… 3 weeks, 4 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months,  nothing.

Then, just a week ago I received more junk mail as usual which I didn’t take straight to the bin, but instead opened (just for the hell of it- I was feeling frivolous) it was a NOTICE OF CANCELLATION (in bold, red type) which told me why these superior scientific microbiologically talented geniuses hadn’t been in touch with me, and why I’d never received an scrap of news from them.

The letter had been addressed to a MS Mavis Withanee

So then........ What’s my name again?

I'd just like to say:
Experts of the highest standing in cellular biology at the immunological level in the fields of MS with advanced technology, and contactable professionals?
What a load complete and UTTER Shit.
That's shit. (With an 'E' if you like)