Massive Squirrels

The Massive Squirrels are at it again today whizzing round and round inside my head on their treadmill of doom.

(For those in the know, 'Massive Squirrels' are a symptom of MS. Which is often (and mistakenly) called "Multiple Sclerosis".
('Sclerosis' means Scars, and 'Multiple' means, as you know, Many.) 
So, in conclusion: There are many scars where should be none, and there are Massive Squirrels where there should be soft spongy Marshmallow pockets of superior genius. And we are fucked because of this, but there is hope for us, and we March Sporadically onwards towards our final destination, we're all going to the same place folks- and lucky for us we'll get the best tables with a great view before you've even booked your room at the Grat Hotel in the Sky- yeah yeah sometimes its not great (akin to being on a giant rollercoaster- there are big dips, twisty bends, sickeningly sharp inclines and plunging downward spirals.) It can make you sick, but then, for me, that's where the fun begins.... When I feel sick I climb back on just for the hell of it - I also like to take a pocket-full of nuts and bolts with me and hand them to the person sitting in front, just before we begin the next slalom along with the line
"Hey man, these just came out of your seat."
*cackle*

Massive Squirrels crack nuts inside your skull, leave the shells everywhere, and, just because they can, they thoughtfully leave a nugget of shit in your eye socket just as a reminder of their furry annoyance which doth run amok in the House of Marjolie. Why I oughta! *shakes fist*

Anyway, also presiding over today's proceedings for me are - the Magnanimous Shakespeareans (with many a blah blah BLAH all-the-live-long day), the Misanthropic Sausages (greedy fat bastards who want to eat all the time), and the ever present Megalithic Scandinavians, (who rampantly pillage your nerves and give you the infamous "spazz hands." before clocking you one in the crown jewels.)

("Spazz hand" occurs in my left only which is a relief for a righty pseudo artist. The right hand would strangle the left if it were not also controlled by Misguided Stormtroopers who fire random shots at nothing in particular in a fruitless bid to foil the rebellion.)

For non MS'ers or (' the jaundiced healthies' as I like to call them- maybe more on that later..) These foibles are formed by defunct Myelin Sheaths which are supposed to ward off MS invaders (i.e My Self) ....fuck a duck! So it all starts and ends with MS?
You bet your sweet ass it does.
Welcome to the world of the unfavourable, the pithy and the fearless. MS for us rules the waves in the sea of normality, much like our beloved Queen does (or at least tries to). Freddie Mercury, for the record is the only Queen that rocks my world, sorry Lizzie s'nuffin' personal 'cept Freddie Rocks it and you do diddly-squat.

So, this isn't a blog full of doom and gloom, quite the polar opposite in fact, because no matter how shit you think life is, it can't be all that bad- I'm here wittering away to myself in the vain hope that one or two people will be compelled to  say "Fuck this Shit" and hopefully  ( and with slighty more articulation)

"This bollockery does not define me.One simply won't have it."

No, one will not, what does define me though are the brain hamsters and the massive squirrels who use my frontal lobe as a nesting box.
Welcome to my world, please wipe your feet on the way in, i'll stick the kettle on, you take your clothes off and we'll just skip all the formalities 'k?

Oh if only life were that simple.